The first big step

Hi guys!

So, with my first 30-day before and after photo only... 10 days away, I think, I had my first moment where I've really realized what I'm doing and the effect it's already had. My mom had a rough night last night, seeing as her best friend from college was hospitalized after collapsing drunk and fighting the police, and I spent a large chunk of time telling her how amazing she was that, even after her friend pulled away, she stilled loved her like there had never been any distance between them.

It was during a hug that my mom looked down at me, teary eyed, and told me that there was definitely less of me to hold onto. Now, this normally would sound like someone who had no idea about what was happening, but my mom has been with me every step of the way, and I've even gone as far as to show her the before picture that will haunt me until I reach my goal. And I know that she wouldn't tell me that if she didn't mean it.

And, with another weigh in only two days away, I'm feeling more confident. I can't wait to see the side by side of my weight loss, and I'm only hoping that I can keep eating healthy when I am at my cousin's graduation. I'll obviously indulge, but I know that the key is moderation, except in veggies and lean protein!

We are eating at a trout place, which is apparently very well known for fish, so I am SO excited about that!

On the other side of good things happening to me, I'm learning to control cravings. I satisfied my need for pasta by having a 200 calorie bowl with less than 25 calories worth of cheese for lunch. Granted, today I've had more carbs than I usually do because I also had a serving of oatmeal for breakfast (with scrambled egg whites, of course), but I am looking forwards to a protein shake for dinner that should satisfy any sweet cravings I have. I've basically stolen my brother's protein powder for shakes because that little extra makes the smoothie taste amazing. I'm currently obsessed with the following recipe:

1 tablespoon peanut butter
1 scoop protein powder
1 banana cut up
1/2 cup almond milk
ice cubes (to your liking)

It's pretty low calorie, but I use it more as a meal than a snack. I have a goal to, by the end of the summer, have a collection of weight-healthy recipes that I can combine into a book for myself at home so that when I have the urge to eat something that I would generally eat an unhealthy amount of, I'll eat a more moderate sized portion of something healthy that contains or mimics my craving. I can feel my upper body has become so much leaner than before, and I know that my curves are shrinking. For now, I'll leave you with this message. <33 Thanks for reading and letting me imagine I have some form of support that I don't have to face in person.

Three Days later...

Hi guys, I know I'm terrible at doing this now, but I'm finding that if I post every day, it's making it seem like it's taking so much longer than I know it is. I've decided that I'm going to post whenever I have something to say, or whenever I feel the need to have something to do instead of go raid the house for food. It's a hard thing to resist doing when my favorite place to sit in the house, besides on my bed, is at the island in our kitchen. And that is right in front of the fridge.

I've got to say that I am feeling like I've dropped a lot around my middle. I'm excited to post the first 30 day picture difference because I feel like it will be fairly noticeable for you all! And I'm hoping it gives me a lot of motivation to see the difference because I'm living this, so there are very few ways that I can actually see a difference.

There is also a little more than a week until I see a large portion of my family at my cousin's graduation, and that will involve swim suits, so I'm hoping that I feel up to wearing tankinis and not feeling self conscious around my family, most of which are very in shape and not as self conscious as I am. I'm also hoping that by the time I go back to school in the fall, I'll be capable of sustaining this workout regimen and diet even with the limited resources I'll have at school.

And wow, I started this yesterday and got completely distracted. I feel like an idiot :P

I start working tomorrow, which means less gym time, but it also means that I'm going to start making money!! Which is always a plus! I'll check in again when I have something to say haha

Weigh in

Hi guys!

So I promised today that I would post about my weigh in, and I only dropped 2 pounds. I'm down to 190, but it's a step in the right direction! I also feel like I've gained a good bit more muscle, so hopefully (and I know I may be deluding myself) that accounts for why I haven't noticed a larger drop because, appearance-wise, I have noticed that I look better. I don't really know what else to put in this post except that I have an almost finished motivation wall, and I will post pictures once I get the last few things tomorrow. Other than that, I've already been to the gym, have class again tonight, and have had my carbs for the day (IE oatmeal and blueberries). Tomorrow starts a week with no fruits, and I don't really know how I'm going to handle that. Fruits are my go-to snacks! :(

I'll post more another time when I am not trying to figure out my lunch and getting ready to go out and get more makeup from Sephora with my mom.

xoxo

Also, as a disclaimer, none of the motivation pictures I post are mine. They usually have a tag with credit, such as above, but I do not own them, nor are gaining anything monetarily from posting them. They just motivate me.

It's been a while, my old friends

So I don't think I'm going to count days anymore. It's just reminding me, for now at least, that I've only just started on what is promising to be a very long journey. Tomorrow is the second time I'll weight myself since starting this diet seriously. Considering that I've already seen a five pound drop, I'm hoping for something just as significant. I've also been able to go to the gym for longer periods of time, IE at least two hours of cardio a day, so we'll see. I'll make sure I make myself post tomorrow at sometime just to show you guys what I've accomplished. I've also decided to change when I post pictures again. I'm going to go on a 30 day basis, so the next time that I will show you all a comparison picture will be June 5th. That will be just after I get back from my cousin's graduation.

I've got to say that I have started to see a noticeable difference. The curve in my hip is not as pronounced as it was months ago, and I feel like my back is a little less bulgy. You'll all see in a little over two weeks though. I also feel more in shape and can notice more of a difference in the definition visible in my arms and legs and shoulders. I think I'm losing weight from head to toe, which means the boobs are next to go. That kind of makes me sad... :( My boobs and I have become good friends, but if it means being healthier and happier, then good riddance!

So I'm going to sign off because I'll be up early to go to the gym again, and then I have my Water Safety Instructor course from 4-9 tomorrow night, and I am not looking forwards to that at all. It kinda sucks, but money is money this summer.

Talk to you imaginary people tomorrow, hopefully when I have news to share.

So much working out...

Hi guys! Just a short post this time because I'm busy, but the last two days, I've been doing two different forms of cardio and then some strength. Keeping up with a major calorie deficit and drinking lots of water.

Until tomorrow <3

Day #Something: I broke a rule and it did me good

So I don't know if I ever mentioned this to you all, but I had told myself that I wouldn't weigh myself again until after I finished this three week program of hell that I'm on. But I'm glad I broke that rule because it showed me that I lost 5 pounds in the first week, which is what people generally said had happened, and it also motivated me to lose the last 15 this book promises.

Today is the first day that I've been following the recipes in the book fully, and they are delicious. I almost caused a small fire by trying to make a sweet potato in the microwave... It still smells a little burnt in here and I know that my mom is going to ask about it.

I don't have much to say today except that I am planning a motivation wall. I confided in one of my best friends yesterday about my goals and my insecurities and he was probably the nicest person I could have told them too. He's also an inspiration of mine because he lost twenty pounds this year and is currently as chiseled as an abercrombie model... He'd probably be one too, if only he were taller than 5'8. But we were talking about the gym and I sort of slipped up and mentioned how I had a goal weight, which is a good bit below my current, and he immediately caught up on and started to ask me questions. When I mentioned that I wanted to lose almost 50 pounds, he hugged me and told me I could do it.

Later in the night, when we were working on his final paper, it became so much better because we were talking about who we thought was pretty and/or handsome (we have no limits with each other) and he stopped mid sentence and looked at me and said this:

"You know Becca, you're really pretty right now. When you get to your goal, you're going to be SMOKING HOT!"

I know it's weird to be motivated by that, but I never considered that I would be one of those people that people would think was hot. And I am really hoping that it comes true, but I know I have a long trip to go before I really start to lose weight at higher levels. I think what I'm going to do when I get back from my cousin's graduation is start on a calorie-counting diet again. I know you all will tell me that it's terrible for me to do so, but I'll increase my caloric intake and I'll look for more balanced, protein-based food. I'll probably start relying a lot on shakes.

I've decided that my goal is to be under 175 by the time I go on vacation with my friends in a month. I know that's a big goal to have, but I feel like I have a lot of water weight to lose and it'll go by fairly quickly. I also really want that wow factor from my friends. This means I'll be eating protein shakes, protein bars, and these meals for dinner that I used last time. And I promise that before I go on vacation, I will take another picture and compare it to the first so you all can see a difference, which I hope that I will.

I keep making so many future plans, and I am slightly afraid that I won't keep any of them. There's a small part of my mind that keeps asking me what is different this time. Why could I get to that goal this time if I kept stopping all the other times? And the reason is that I got comfortable last time. I feel like I'll need to keep changing up my method of attack, but I'm hoping that the motivation wall I'm creating will help me a lot!

I do still have one jumpstart exercise left to do today, and that will happen after I let my lunch settle a little. For now, I'm munching on a banana and I need to go finish unpacking and print out a few things I'm going to put up on my motivation wall! Love you all <3

Day off: I'M DONE WITH SCHOOL FOR THE SUMMER

This has been a very therapeutic experience for me. I'm not done with working out or losing weight, but seeing as I moved home today, I decided that it was time for a day off in order to celebrate the year with my family. We went out to lunch and I broke the carb rule by having New England Clam Chowder, but still, I've been good otherwise.

I also didn't make it to the gym today, and I fully doubt that I kept under 800 calories, but I'm home and my mom is able to give me the support I need in order to lose weight. I just need to keep in mind that, in two weeks, I am going to be at my cousin's graduation and I want to prove to them that I am not the fat cousin. While I won't be down as much as I want, I also want to surprise my friends from college when I see them in June because we'll be at the beach and I plan to parade around more comfortable in my swim suit than ever.

Yes, I know. I'm making a lot of plans for how I'm going to act when I get there and what I want to accomplish, but it doesn't sound like I have a plan.

Well, I do.

My mom has decided to join me on the last two weeks of this diet (only breaking the rule about alcohol, of course) and she is also fully supportive of this. She doesn't know that I'm blogging my experience as I sort of journal, but I may show this to her when I finish my goal. I don't know if I'll be able to stop blogging by the time that I get there, but hopefully I'll get there.

So on to my plan.

For two more weeks, I am on the 800 calories thing. I am following Harper's meal plan to the detail for the rest of those two weeks and then I am taking four days off for my cousin's High School graduation!! Whoohoo! By then, I will hopefully have fully read Harper's next book, The Skinny Rules, and will be able to adjust my life to those rules. I'm planning on seeing a nutritionist, and of course, keeping up the exercise. Once I have more calories, I also plan to start working out harder and spending more time at the gym, maybe with a trainer, in order to start toning muscle.

And I know I shouldn't really be able to reach 140 by the end of the summer, and that I'll need to continue it during the year, but I should be able to get close to it by then. I will weigh in as soon as I finish this program too, and probably repost pictures because I think my last links are broken. For now, I'll leave you with something I am looking forwards to, and a workout I really want to try soon!

Love you all!!